Do You Talk Yourself Through Your Day?

Every day starts off the same way. The voice in my head that directs everything I do kicks in the minute I wake up. "Time to get out of bed! You need to shower before you can walk the dog." That's my daily wake up instruction. Next follows breakfast, talking myself through that and so on with each task the day brings. I didn't even realize this was a thing until recently when I was speaking to my therapist. She was the one who used the expression "talking yourself through your day" and it hit me that's exactly what I do. Every chore is made up of a series of step by step instructions. I spend the day telling myself what to do; it's a running monologue going on in my head.

Before my accident, there was no conscious thought related to what I was doing. A task or chore had to be done and I did it. There was no conversation going on internally. Sure I would make a list before going grocery shopping or cooking a meal,but I didn't take notice of the steps involved. Life was simple in that I didn't have to break down every action into conscious ones. I'm not sure how I feel about this to be honest. I'm happy that I can do so mmuch more now than three years ago, but a part of me always yearns for that carefree, non-thinking time. It all goes back to yearning.