The New Normal

Boy did I start to get tired of that expression. About a year and a half into my recovery, the neurologist, my psychotherapist, even my family, started to use this phrase. I got tired of it pretty quickly. I didn't want this to be my "new normal". I wanted "normal normal". Why couldn't the neurologist give me any time frame for this?! Two and a half years into my recovery, I was still struggling with this. The neurologist by this point I guess decided that being subtle wasn't going to work with me and strongly recommended a Mindfulness course. The course I took involved meditation that would allow you to be focused on the present. After the class, I could actually feel an almost physical sensation of being in the present. I understood what the neurologist wanted me to accomplish. Live in the present, be in the moment. I finally got it...but I still have "moments of yearning" as I call them. Moments where, I yearn for past abilities...like driving and teaching...even carrying on a conversation for more than fifteen minutes. I guess I'm living my "new normal" but it's tough.